November 7, 2026The dinner rush stalled when every mermaid demanded the corner booth, citing superior currents and unacceptable proximity to the jukebox. Dr. Phil stepped behind the hostess stand, studied the floor plan, and calmly explained that having a tail did not exempt anyone from rotating sections.
He then measured fin clearance, relocated three clamshell handbags, and established a strict splash radius around the milkshake counter. By closing time, the mermaids were seated, the waitstaff had boundaries, and one lobster had been asked to stop saving six stools with napkins. Today's completely unnecessary Dr. Phil moment.
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