Dr. Phil Performs Exit Interviews for Retiring Tumbleweeds at a Wild West Railway Depot

At the Dusty Spur depot, Dr. Phil has turned a ticket booth into a formal offboarding office for tumbleweeds leaving the frontier. He checks each candidate’s rolling history, asks whether the wind provided adequate direction, and calmly explains that “drifting without notice” is not a transition plan.

The noon train is delayed while he conducts one final interview beside the tracks, holding a clipboard against the gusts as three tumbleweeds wait in a perfectly serious queue. Nobody knows who authorized the process, but every departing shrub receives closure, constructive feedback, and a firm handshake attempt. Today's completely unnecessary Dr. Phil moment.